Disclaimer: This post may sound a bit depressing, but actually if you read all the way to the bottom it does get better, I promise!
I've spent a long time trying to be happy with me. I think it's something a lot of people struggle with these days (both men and women). My one and only new years resolution was 'to be happy'. That's all I want for 2014, but it seems it's harder than I first thought.
I've spent a long time trying to be happy with me. I think it's something a lot of people struggle with these days (both men and women). My one and only new years resolution was 'to be happy'. That's all I want for 2014, but it seems it's harder than I first thought.
I think I'm beginning to realise why it can be so hard to be happy. If you hate yourself, how can you be happy with life? Be loving and kind with others around you? When all you want to do is curl up into a ball and never wake up, because waking up means facing the world, letting other people see you and maybe even having to face a mirror.
I guess I feel really stupid writing this. What have I got to be unhappy about, and why do I dislike myself and my appearance so much? When I look at it objectively I'm sure I'm not that horrifying to look at but it's hard to be objective when all you can see are your flaws.
So I think, although this year my resolution is 'to be happy'.. I've realised now that this is not possible before actually addressing the unhappiness in the first place. So I guess that's my new mission. I'm not exactly sure how to go about it, other than trying to convince myself I do love myself. Maybe positive affirmations, eating more healthily, trying to get some more exercise.
A couple of years I started a board on pinterest called 'You are beautiful'. As well as a couple of quotes, inspsiring pictures etc, it is also full of images such as before/after photoshops for magazine articles. This is not to make anyone look bad, but to show that although we know the media version of real life is slightly edited, it really can make a huge difference. Growing up, surrounded by perfect women in adverts, with perfect skin and hair, slim and toned bodies, looking happy. It's not ideal, and it kind of scares me when I think about our children and how they are going to grow up viewing themselves and each other in comparison.
And the thing is, who really wants to look like everyone else - with the same plasticy airbrushed face, the swishy 'because you're worth it' hair magically floating in the air, the rigid poses and clenched jaws and the empty hearts with no individuality.
Because I don't. So why, every time I open a magazine, or watch an advert, do I think this is what I want? What I should be? How I should look? And more importantly, how am I ever going to teach my sons to love themselves, and love a woman regardless of her body when I can't even do that myself?
So this post is a pledge to 2014. To happiness. I not only want to be happy, but I want others to be happy too. I know it's January, and it's freezing cold, and it's dark and grey and gloomy. But we deserve some happiness, and we deserve to love ourselves. So you will be seeing a lot more 'happy posts' from me this year. What's making you happy at this time of year? I'd love some tips ;)
